My wife says that I’m usually charming and loquacious, but when she’s annoyed with me these traits make me insufferable. How is that even possible? [Letter abridged–TM]
Yours truly, Mr. Smooth Jazz
Just curious, are you so loquacious that you keep talking even when you have no idea what you’re talking about? Well then hi, Jack, it’s great to hear from you after all these years! And congratulations on getting married! It’s not so bad, right? Sex is right there to be had, household duties can be shared, and someone listens to you from the moment you wake up in the morning until you fall asleep mid-sentence that night.
The thing is, you have to occasionally stop and listen. Especially when your wife is upset, but also when she’s trying to read or sleep or wants a simple answer to a direct question. What are you in the mood to eat? is not an inquiry into what you ate on your long-ago trip to Italy. If it helps, think of yourself as too special to be meted out in large doses.
If you aren’t Jack, Mr. Smooth, my apologies. The same principles apply; it’s in your own best interest to not be on all the time. How will your wife continue to appreciate you if she isn’t reminded once in a while of what the silence would be like without you?
But if you are Jack: remember that day you broke up with me? I’d already broken up with you twice, but you were too busy criticizing my haircut and un-alphabetized CDs to notice.
Wishing you well, TinyMom/Short Stuff